


Wherein Bones has a fit and Jim builds a fort

by kayliemalinza



Series: Rambleverse [30]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Years (Rambleverse Timeline), Gen, Kayliemalinza's Rambleverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-27
Updated: 2010-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayliemalinza/pseuds/kayliemalinza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Excerpt:<br/>"Jim!" Bones shouts again. "What the hell is this?"</p><p>"It's my Wall of Manly Solitude," Jim says around the toothbrush in his mouth. Sheesh, was Bones even paying attention to his internal monologue? It's like the guy doesn't even care.</p><p>Jim adopts the appropriate wounded expression but alas, it's not quite effective in this situation, as Jim's Wall of Manly Solitude extends from the floor all the way up to the ceiling and is totally opaque. In fact, it's opaque due to the cheerful colors of his chosen building material (pre-form interlocking plasteel bricks, all the rage on bleak backwater colonies,) and he took great pains to work some jaunty zig-zags into the design. A man's home may be his castle, but it doesn't have to be drab.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherein Bones has a fit and Jim builds a fort

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Jim's second year at the Academy. Written for the prompt, "Jim builds a Lego fort in his dorm."

"Dammit, Jim! I'm gonna beat the tar outta you!"

Jim is brushing his teeth when the bellow shatters the early morning tranquility (it's before noon, ok, so that's technically morning, and 11:30 is earlier than other times of morning, like say 11:45. Also, Jim just woke up and isn't wearing any pants. Ergo, early morning.)

Normally, such a trenchant threat of bodily harm would have Jim leaping into action, but Bones threatens to beat him all the time and has not once followed through. Jim figures this is mostly because Bones is a secret pacifist, but he acknowledges that Bones' reticence to commit violence upon Jim's person may have something to do with Jim's tactical error (the first tactical error he's made in three years, or seventeen months, depending on how much Jim regrets signing up for Starfleet that day) of bragging about his ability to get a boner in pretty much any situation.

Bones claimed that there was no point in beating Jim if he was going to enjoy it and Jim had to correct him that actually, that _is_ the point, and Bones went off about this thing called operant conditioning and Jim kept trying to steer the conversation back to what a naughty boy he'd been and Bones yelled that now they were back where they started so Jim felt it would be helpful if he explained the difference between really misbehaving and pretend misbehaving, but Bones was being willfully obdurate at that point and claimed that Jim was _really_ misbehaving, like a few dirty dishes were such a big fucking deal, but when Jim calmly pointed that out Bones totally overreacted and threatened never to cook for Jim again, which is blatantly cruel and unusual punishment but Bones' eyebrow looked crazy enough to do it so Jim, deciding home-cooked meals were the better part of valor, washed the stupid dishes and Bones crowed smugly, "Now _that's_ what I call positive reinforcement!" and nobody got a boner. Which was tragic.

Luckily Jim is not the sort of person to give up on the first try, so he kept right on pretend misbehaving because he knows, deep in his heart, that Bones is a total pushover if you know the right buttons to push. And that brings them to this bright and early morn (seriously bright; it hurts Jim's eyes if he opens them too much) with Bones yelling at him from the front room of their shared quarters and Jim standing in the bedroom, safe behind his Wall of Manly Solitude.

"Jim!" Bones shouts again. "What the hell is this?"

"It's my Wall of Manly Solitude," Jim says around the toothbrush in his mouth. Sheesh, was Bones even paying attention to his internal monologue? It's like the guy doesn't even care.

Jim adopts the appropriate wounded expression (Bones is, due to his storied and depressing romantic history, especially susceptible to the complaint that You Never Listen To Me Anymore) but alas, it's not quite effective in this situation, as Jim's Wall of Manly Solitude extends from the floor all the way up to the ceiling and is totally opaque. In fact, it's opaque due to the cheerful colors of his chosen building material (pre-form interlocking plasteel bricks, all the rage on bleak backwater colonies,) and he took great pains to work some jaunty zig-zags into the design. A man's home may be his castle, but it doesn't have to be drab.

There's a charming spluttering noise from the other side of the Wall. "Your wall of _what?_ " Bones says.

"Manly Solitude," Jim repeats patiently, making sure to pronounce the capital letters. They're important. "It's my mid-term project for Industrial Engineering." He walks up and pokes at the red square positioned about three-quarters up the Wall and a block of it swivels out smoothly because Jim is the sort of clever, forethinking individual who puts defensible portholes in his fortress walls. He's going for the gold on this assignment (not that grades are awarded in the form of medals, of course, although in Jim's opinion they should be.)

Through the perfectly beveled gap of plasteel bricks (the beveling makes it harder for enemy projectiles to make it through) Jim sees Bones sitting at his desk chair, rubbing the sole of his bare foot and scowling at the floor.

"What happened to your foot?" Jim asks.

Bones' face goes faintly purple and, if possible, swells up a bit. "I stepped on one of your damn Legos," Bones growls. "They're scattered all over the floor! Don't you know how to clean up after yourself?"

Jim does too know how to clean up after himself (that's why hardly any states have warrants for his arrest) and would have been happy to clean up last night when Bones came in, but Bones never did, because apparently 'studying at the library' is an all night affair, especially when you get lost on the way to the library and end up in the officers' barracks instead, not that Jim stalked Bones on the campus camera feed or anything.

Jim can't decide if he wants Bones to be more creative or to stop lying altogether. It's not like Jim (and everyone else in Starfleet, after that little display at the Admiral's Ball last month) doesn't know that Bones and the Ex are perpetually in a state of Trying to Work Things Out. They can't help it. They're like two hot, sassy atoms of a diatomic gas, all snuggled up together and swapping sexy electrons of eye-fuckery back and forth. Or maybe Joanna's the electron. Whatever. The point is, Jim has a Chemical Engineering midterm this afternoon (Chemical Engineering is the one where you get to make magical potions to blow stuff up, as opposed to Industrial Engineering where you get to make potato guns to blow stuff up, and Walls of Manly Solitude to prevent other people from blowing you up.) and he doesn't have time for a Genuine Bones Rant (genuine is pronounced with a long 'i' in this context, by the way. Bones insists.)

"I was gonna clean them up this morning," Jim says.

Bones doesn't even glance at the clock before answering, "It's nearly _noon._ "

"I'm not wearing _pants,_ " Jim says. Bones really needs to step it up with the mind-reading. Jim can't keep repeating himself all the time. "Why were you barefoot, anyway?"

"I shouldn't have to wear shoes in my own damn quarters!" Bones snaps, like it's somehow Jim's fault that Bones has to endure the oppression of footwear like a civilized person instead of whiling away hot afternoons by wading in the archetypal creek that Jim suspects that Bones has never been to, because Jim went home to Georgia with him once and the only body of water he saw was a fucking _swamp._ But then again Bones tried to blame Jim for winter last year so what the fuck ever.

Jim and Bones stare at each other for a while. Jim's pretty sure that he has toothpaste on the corner of his mouth, but it probably brings out the color of his eyes so no biggie.

Finally Bones turns to his computer in disgust and pulls up a form that, as far as Jim can see from over here (behind his Wall of Manly Solitude, or rather Solid-ude, considering what an awesome job it's doing of supporting Jim's weight when he leans on it,) is already mostly filled out.

"What's that?" Jim asks.

"It's a request for change of quarters," Bones says shortly.

"What? Why?" Jim says, and he doesn't sound panicked or hurt, just slightly urgent. (And hurt.)

"Because, Jim-boy, I love you like a brother—"

"I love you too, Bones!" Jim blurts out, but apparently it's not as cute as when Joanna does it, because Bones barrels on ahead:

"—and this is the only way to keep from killing you."

Jim thinks about that and decides that it's reasonable, aside from one little nitpick. "Does it have to be brotherly love, specifically?"

He wasn't kidding about the sexy electrons.


End file.
